Actually - a lot of my guy friends HAVE been through this crap. Abusive childhoods, severe addiction trauma, mental health issues, awful divorce situations. The suicide of multiple friends, prison time, cults. Church and the repressive, hyper-religious domination of that whole fucked up thing.

They don't use the shit they've been through as an excuse to keep propagating the story on other people, or themselves. The guys I know who are the most kind, open-hearted, and expansive people are NOT the silver spoon lads I think you are talking about. They're the warriors that have turned in their AK-47s for gardening tools.

I hear the angst in your words. So call me out if you want to - but know that just because you've been through the wringer, it doesn't have to be an excuse not to find your way out the other side.