Have you seen Gabor Maté's new movie The Wisdom of Trauma? It's playing (for donation) online until Oct 10th, and it's absolutely amazing. He addresses a lot of the questions you ask here through his study of trauma, addiction, and child development. It's well worth the watch.

I wrote a piece of poetic prose that compliments your piece too. All hail the power of the mother. https://medium.com/moments-of-passion/just-hold-me-917f7e119da6