I love the Avatar series. Both Aang and crew (the original) and Korra (the second series) are excellent. My son's middle name is actually Iroh, the show was so good.

Have you ever read either the Song of the Lioness series, or Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce? Written back in the '80s, the female characters in these books are excellently written in my opinion. They avoid a lot of the tropes you mentioned in this post.

I know. I know. You have enough books, lol. But these are really good ones.