I saw a video recently where this guy named Cyzor broke down sex and gender in a way I understood well.

He said - sex is related to the size of you gametes. Big gametes = eggs. Sex female. Little gametes = sperm. Sex male. Intermediate gametrs, with variability = ???.Sex intersex.

But when you go to determine whether you’re a woman or a man, that’s a social contract. You can self-define - as you mentioned. Hopefully in search of self understanding, not prescriptive limitations.

Just like you can pick up any given holy book and call yourself an Christian or a Muslim, you can pick up a specific outfit and call yourself a man or a woman. It’s your choice to choose your social construct. Your sex is what you were born with.

I have a lot in common with your childhood friend crew experience. D&D, dirt bikes and gross hilarious fart jokes. Checks check. Check. But I’m 99% straight, so I never had that social hurdle to jump.

Still at age 47, I look in the mirror at my shaved undercuts, lack of makeup most of the time, and a fashion sense my daughter cringes at. I giggle. I definitely look nonbinary most days.

But I LOVE the contentment that comes from my wholehearted acceptance of self. Self as woman.

Here’s to your lesbian beach retirement. May we all find ourselves!