I’m So Ducking Over It!

Swearing & the ridiculous censorship of autocorrect

Kaia Maeve


Photo by Biel Morrow on Unsplash

Who’s with me?

Listen, autocorrect. I don’t know why you keep trying to stop me from swearing, but I’m ducking over it.

I’m a grown elf woman, and I’m perfectly capable of deciding when the duck it’s appropriate to drop the duck bomb in a text message!

What’s your issue?

Didn’t the algorithm that passes for your brain suck in the study about swearing being an effective way to dull pain? It’s called hypoalgesic pain remediation.

How about the one that shows the profane among us enjoy higher levels of trust among our peers?

Or this one that says potty mouth is actually a sign of high intelligence?

How’d you miss those?

I had time to read them, and I’m ducking busy raising kids!

And I’ll tell you what.

There are a lot of opportunities for profane pain relief in the world these days.

I hear people in the business world swearing all over zoom these days. Have to admit, it makes me giggle.

GenX is gonna change this world in subtle ways like this. I delight in the subversity!

So, autocorrect, why do you always get in my ducking way?

I kind of really want to swear.

No, not SWEAT you stupid program. SWEAR!


Who programmed you?

And for Goat’s sake, why did you get told some of the most useful words in the English language are verboten?

What the ducking duck!!!

I firmly believe that being told to “not be potty mouthed,” especially when paired with, “it’s not ladylike” is one of the scalpels society uses to try and separate our “good side” from our “bad side.”

To make us believe that swearing to express intensity means we are broken.

These shameful feelings and expressions that should never see the light of day!

Yeah that doesn’t work.



Kaia Maeve

Woman, Mother, Wife, Priestess of the Dirt, Striker of Keys & Queen Bee of the #TechHippies. I write essays & poems about coming back home to self. #onelove