Maybe a better question would be, “Why do we think that we’re only allowed to have one person touch our hearts in the first place?”
We’ve been taught the myth of the one true love. We’ve been educated in a scarcity mindset, that we must find and hold tight our lover lest they find another and leave us. This is not how it’s supposed to work. Check out this lovely video by John Wolfstone & Ian MacKenzie for a little more background on the theory.
I think the real problem in relationships lies in the fact that we enter into these “til death do us part” agreements that we are not suited for either psychologically or biologically. It’s a setup that’s doomed to fail. It’s not about cheating.
This is not a plug for dishonesty in a relationship. It’s a condemnation of the default romantic relationship setup itself.
Integrity and impeccability with our words are extremely important to having healthy love with one another. No argument. Let’s just make better agreements in the first place.
What if we simply learned to love without fear? Without a sense of our own lack? Without living in terror of our partners leaving us if they allow their hearts to embrace another? This lesson goes far beyond romance if you start digging into the concept.
Perhaps the prevalence of desiring to let more than one person touch our hearts is at the root of the open relationship movement. Perhaps it’s all related to us learning to love living without the fear period.
Just some food for thought.
