Saying you don’t want to sleep with someone who has these genitalia turns that potential partner into an object.

Saying, I don’t want to sleep with Sally, my trans-woman friend, because I’m not particularly attracted to Sally turns out to be ok, because not everyone has to like everyone. But in this case, I’m speaking about a person, not an object.

Is this kind of what you’re trying to get at? No body has to feel obligated to sleep with anyone. But if your refusal is categorical and not individual, then it’s not ok.

I’m working on a book with an intersex main character and think this point is an important one.