The Missing Piece of Servanthood

Reciprocity. It answers all the questions.

Kaia Maeve Tingley
6 min readJul 24, 2022


Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

We’re about to dive into a few hours of weekend family Minecraft.

Years of personal growth work and relationship education have taken us to the place where we’ve handled our adulting responsibilities well enough to make time in our lives for play.

I’m feeling pretty proud of us right now.

How do we make space for this in our lives?

On the few Sunday mornings where we don’t have a full day of beginning of the week prep tasks, Dad & I make a point of being allowed to peacefully sleep in, have some private time, and practice our creative work (in my case reading and writing) WITHOUT being disturbed. Until 10 am.

Loving having this boundary with our kids.

From here, we can get up refreshed and relaxed, to tackle house cleaning, food cooking, weekly preparation conversations, etc. And this means we can take some chill time with our kids.

Dad starts cooking up one of his special brunches. Toasted bagels, or my new favorite, gluten-free-but-not-gross Ezekiel bread, buttered and topped with cheese. Freshly fried bacon, then eggs scrambled with onions and cooked in bacon grease. Perfect avocados and tomatoes from the garden, along with a spicy Roja salsa from a local shop here tops it all off.

I make myself a cup of tea, and then ask him how I can help. Paper towels? Check. Toast the bagels and bread, and prep the cheese? Check. Does he want something to drink? Water? No problem.

Feeling cared for and nourished on all levels, I’m happy to jump in and serve. After breakfast is done, I can casually take care of the clean-up tasks. Dishes cleared off and compost collected. Eggshells baking in the oven to be crumbled and sprinkled into the garden for calcium. Counter wiped up, and the cast iron pan cleaned and oiled.

Pinch me. Did I just wake up into my dream life today?

In this crazy world that seems so divisive, I feel like I’ve fallen right through the looking glass where everything is opposite. I smile in gratitude for all that I have, and how well rested I feel.



Kaia Maeve Tingley

Woman, Mother, Wife, Priestess of the Dirt, Striker of Keys & Queen Bee of the #TechHippies. I write essays & poems about coming back home to self. #onelove