The nuclear family is a shitshow of a framework. Paired with the norms of the domination hierarchy commonly referred to as the patriarchy, and capitalism - this trifecta screws EVERYONE.
Men are trained to compete and WIN!! They're discouraged from developing emotional expression, or the skills needed to connect. The manbox is enforced from about age 3 or 4 on.
https://kaiamaeve.medium.com/why-do-so-many-men-avoid-showing-their-feelings-25503b31f6e0
Women are conditioned to be nice, and to make caring for others their main focus. They're prohibited from expressing anger effectively - so frustration roots down and festers. Communication is also very hard when you've been trained since birth to self marginalize.
https://kaiamaeve.medium.com/how-to-get-more-centered-inside-your-own-experience-e72a0643c7b1
Calling out the symptom of relationship disharmony by saying women are wrong for just wanting this, or men are wrong for not delivering that - it's true, but lacks reference points. These things are a symptom of deeper disconnects.
https://medium.com/hussy-magazine/unconscious-dominance-70eaf9c43f48
Obviously, I've done my fair share of contemplation on this topic as well. And where I think the answer lies is NOT in the shaming of dysfunctional attitudes and behaviors, but in the deeper healing that each of us is being called to do.
Trauma, addiction, abuse, violence, shame, fear, guilt, and so on... These are the symptoms of our larger disconnect.
Maybe the answer just lies in reconnecting? To self, to others, and back to place and nature. Just a thought.
