We have been taught to self-marginalize ourselves from our own centers by the pyramidal structures of power our global culture centers on. While people-pleasing is rampant, and as you explain so well here, extremely detrimental - it comes from systemic flaws as much as it does from personal trauma. If you're interested, I wrote about it here - https://kaiamaeve.medium.com/how-to-get-more-centered-inside-your-own-experience-e72a0643c7b1