Bad Stuff Happens to EVERYONE in the Patriarchy

Playing a butt-hurt, blame game is utterly counterproductive in our collective quest to create a better system

Kaia Maeve


Photo by Saad Chaudhry on Unsplash

Look. I get it.

I don’t think anyone is truly content with the way things are working in society right now. There are a lot of things that need to be fixed.

But that’s not an excuse for those of us who’ve been badly hurt in the past to hide behind our armor, mistrustful of everyone in the universe.

Hiding out in pain forever is not going to make any of us feel better.

In fact, learning how to talk about some uncomfortable stuff is potentially the only way to resolve the pains of the past.

Why Is There So Much Drama and Pain?

We’re living in a world based on dominance, subjugation, and social systems of privilege.

Look at all the different wars.

Look at which wars make the news, and which ones don’t.

Look at the statistics on domestic violence — which absolutely horrify the soul.

Look at sex trafficking, online bullying, and the mountains of microaggressions we all dish out and take in all the time.

All pathological patterns of dominance, no matter how large or small, are based on the same basic schtick:

1. Tell the story that makes sense to you, regardless of what anyone else has to say. Because only your story matters.

2. Play the victim card. Claim that any violence or pain you’ve experienced at the hands of another makes your situation MORE urgent than

3. Then use anger or violence as a response to shut down any voices with differing opinions.

It doesn’t matter if it’s domestic abuse, actual war, or a comment thread on a Medium post.

In fact, I believe the subconscious rules of the patriarchal system are inadvertently evangelized by broken and traumatized people as a means of control and security.

Is Fighting Against Each Other Going to Help?



Kaia Maeve

Woman, Mother, Wife, Priestess of the Dirt, Striker of Keys & Queen Bee of the #TechHippies. I write essays & poems about coming back home to self. #onelove