Women are told their value is in their looks. And in the service they can give to others.

When I was in high school; I saw the trap and sidestepped it. Grateful for the flash of insight that led me away from an appearance based identity.

Now, a few weeks away from my 48th birthday, I’m very comfortable in my own skin, wear makeup very rarely (usually only to record educational videos so you can see my eyes,) and have a deep and thriving relationship with my husband of 10 years (we’ve been partnered for the last 15.)

We have conversations that make us both laugh, we have grown a homestead together, and are raising our 2 kiddos out of the muggle story that beauty defines success for women, and money defines it for men.

That does not however mean this author is brainwashed to say most men do not desire a not-ugly woman to partner with. It’s all too true for most, but not all guys. Unfortunately.